goddesses in older women - out of the trap

➹ Bolen, J. S. (2009). Goddesses in older women: Archetypes in women over fifty. Harper Collins.

When archetypes are activated, they energize us and give us a sense of meaning and authenticity. (Location 81)
In a youth-oriented patriarchy, especially, to become an older woman is to become invisible; a nonentity. (Location 82)
In the Native American tradition, a woman becomes fully grown at the age of fifty-two. (Location 87)
It is my intention in writing Goddesses in Older Women to help to redeem the crone word, the third stage of life, and, most of all, to help women recognize the archetypes that become accessible as sources of energy and direction at this time. (Location 91)
This does not necessarily have to be the case. There have been and still are cultures with women elders or wisewomen in which menopause is acknowledged as marking the transition into a new and honored status. This happens when women and nature are seen as positive reflections of each other. As in many Native American tribal traditions, menarche (the onset of menstruation) and menopause mark major transitions in the awesome cycle—the blood mysteries—in which women, the moon, and the divine feminine are related. (Location 101)
Whether it is a crescent sliver or gloriously full, we know we are only observing a facet of the same spherical moon. In the same way, ancient people saw the goddess as one, yet triple in her three phases of maiden-mother-crone. Cycles were observed in the moon, in the seasons and fertility of the earth, and in women’s bodies, which shared qualities with both. (Location 105)
In ancient times and in indigenous traditions, when a girl began to bleed, she became a woman in the maiden phase of her life, the metaphoric equivalent of the waxing moon. A ritual marked her new status. After the onset of menstruation, her menstrual periods would come into synchrony with other menstruating women (as happens with women who live together in dormitories or sororities) and with the moon. Then, once a month, she would bleed during her menses, or “moon time,” until she became pregnant. Her first pregnancy was an initiation into the second phase of her life, corresponding to the full moon and the second phase of the triple goddess. When she became pregnant, it was said that she (Location 108)
retained the blood in her body to make a baby. Only after she gave birth and stopped lactating would she begin her monthly bleeding again. She would then continue to do so until she became pregnant once more, or until she entered menopause. The cessation of menstruation now marked another awesome change. Once again, it was said that a woman retained blood in her body; only this time, it was not to make a baby but to make wisdom. (Location 112)
Menopause marked the transition into the third phase of a woman’s life, corresponded to the waning moon, and was the initiation into the wisewoman or elder phase of a woman’s life. In many Native (Location 115)
I think of maiden-mother-crone, the three phases of the triple goddess, as stages in a woman’s life regardless of whether she has borne children. Most women move through a maiden phase in which they are uncommitted and are sampling life; changing jobs and educational goals, trying out relationships. The archetype is the puella eterna, the eternal girl. (Location 122)
They can also stay in the maiden phase even when they become biological mothers, if they are not maternal, responsible, or mature. (Location 125)
I sometimes speak of the three phases as “maiden, mother (or matron), and crone” or “young woman, mature woman, and wisewoman” in order to make the point that a woman does not have to be a biological mother in the second phase, though “mother” is an appropriate metaphor for what the second phase usually involves. Women in the second phase make commitments and grow in maturity through nourishing them. The commitment could be to a person, a career, a cause, a talent—to anything that is personally significant. Children—and any meaningful commitment—take more effort and devotion than most women anticipate, at the same time that they are a source of joy and pain, and an impetus to growth and creativity. The second phase is one of involvement and active effort. (Location 126)
Most women enter the third phase of the wisewoman or crone only after they pull back from the concerns of the second phase and shift gears inwardly. (Location 132)

The psychological stages of maiden-mother-crone are no longer closely tied to age. Women who have had their children late in their childbearing years or adopted them late, are still very much involved in second-phase commitments. (Location 135)
It is in this third phase of a woman’s life that the crone goddess archetypes most naturally make themselves known. When archetypes are activated by a new stage in life, there is vitality and energy in them. The more you know about yourself at this stage of life, the easier they will be to activate. The more interest you have in them, and the more they represent the growing edge of your own independent thinking and purpose, the larger their presence can become within you. Their names, images, qualities, and stories—which I describe in the chapters to follow—are important to know, because this knowledge brings them alive in your imagination and gives you a vocabulary for what you are already experiencing. (Location 140)
I think this aptly describes a woman in her crone years, who has integrated the archetypes and tasks of maiden and mother as aspects of her personality. Her attitude and spirit are like the fresh green of spring; she welcomes new growth and possibilities in herself and in others. There is something solid about her being an adult whose life has borne fruit through cultivation and pruning, as well as tempering and work; she knows from experience that it takes commitment and love for budding possibilities in herself or in others to grow into reality. There is also something about her passion for life that is like the juiciness of summer’s ripe fruit. Now, at menopause, she enters a new phase and is alive to new possibilities. (Location 153)
It is impossible for anyone else to know your truth or judge it, particularly since the same role and set of circumstances can fulfill one woman and constrict another. (Location 176)
When an active archetype rather than an external expectation is the basis for a role we take, there is depth to the choice. When we find meaning as well, then the archetype which Jung called the Self is also engaged. (Location 178)
The price we pay is the path not taken, that which we give up. (Location 183)
For so many of us, the obligations and demands made on our time and energy have a way of expanding to take up our whole life. There are conflicting loyalties to sort out and unchosen circumstances and limitations, including the reactions of others who may be angry (Location 185)
at us for not fulfilling their expectations. (Location 187)
Think of yourself as the main character in a novel or motion picture that is being written by the choices you make or the roles you play, and by whether you are committed to your own story. Your parents’ positive aspirations for you, or their negative expectations, or the examples they set, may have provided you with a ready-made script to follow. That prescribed path may have helped you to develop in ways that were positive, or may have done you great harm if there was a major discrepancy between who you were supposed to be and your own potential and needs. Others in your life, especially any that you gave authority to, or loved, further defined you. As a result, you may see yourself in a perennial supporting role, or as a victim, instead of as the protagonist in your own story. There are, as fiction writers often note, only so many basic plots, and only so many typical or archetypical characters—which is true in life, as well. (Location 187)
When you see yourself as a choicemaker, you take on the role of protagonist in your life story. You know that what you choose to do, or not do, has an effect. You learn that when circumstances are unavoidable or even terrible, then how you respond inwardly is a choice that may make all the difference. (Location 203)
Some of these goddesses had qualities that fit traditional roles for women, such as Hera, the archetype of the wife; Demeter the mother; Persephone the maiden; and Aphrodite the lover, but others had attributes that society and psychology said belonged to men—Artemis the huntress could protect women from male violators and seek her own goals, while Athena was entrusted with power and had the clearest mind of any Olympian. It was a perspective that broadened Jung’s psychology of women and had exceptions to his theory,* but it drew from the archetypal structure of the psyche that he discerned and described. The archetypes are inherent patterns or predispositions in the human psyche. The formation of crystals in a solution was an analogy Jung used to help explain the difference between archetypal patterns and activated archetypes: an archetype is like the invisible pattern that determines what shape and structure a crystal will take when it does form—something it can do only if conditions exist where this can happen. Once the crystal forms, it is recognizable. Archetypes might also be compared to the “blueprints” in seeds. Growth from seeds depends on soil and climate conditions, the presence or (Location 239)
absence of certain nutrients, loving care or neglect on the part of the gardener, the size and depth of the container, and the hardiness of the variety itself. Under optimal conditions, the full potential in the seed is realized. While the psyche is considerably more complex, archetypes in women are also activated by a variety of interacting elements—inherited predisposition, family and culture, hormones, circumstances, and the stages of life. (Location 249)
When a connection is made between a goddess archetype and a symbol or image, a depth of feeling and a sense of meaning accompanies that connection, which was the case. Of further subjective significance, women felt that what they were doing had a sacred dimension when a particular role was also an active archetype in them. Once a connection was felt between the psychological and the spiritual meaning of a goddess archetype, it was the beginning awareness that there could be a goddess-centered or goddess-connected spirituality (Location 271)
“What about Hecate?” Hecate is the third goddess in the story, the little-known, mysterious one. As goddess of the crossroad, whose time was twilight, Hecate was an older woman who supported Demeter in her grief after she searched futilely for her abducted daughter, (Location 286)
Persephone. Hecate suggested that Demeter seek the truth and accompanied her to find out what had happened and why. At the end of the myth, when Persephone returned from the underworld, Hecate became an invisible presence who would accompany her from that time forth. In this myth, the triple goddess of prepatriarchal classical Greece was now three separate and diminished goddesses: Persephone the maiden, Demeter the mother, and Hecate the crone. (Location 288)
Only when I came to know Hecate as an archetype in myself, and became part of a generation of crone-aged women who were reinventing what this stage of life could be, was I able to give Hecate her due. With that shift, Goddesses in Older Women was born. (Location 293)
Most of us are familiar with the notion of having an “inner child,” so it isn’t much of a stretch to think of yourself as having an inner collection of archetypes or subpersonalities. In Jungian psychology, archetypes are potential human patterns that, once activated, are expressed through our attitudes and actions, or projected by us onto others. We inherit the whole lot of them, male and female, young and old. (Location 300)
Archetypes are not simple images but patterns with a range of expression. Each woman who lives out an underlying archetype in her own true way is like a unique variation on a theme. However, most women of any complexity have more than one active archetype within her competing for expression. Even when we are able to develop along archetypally true for us lines, there are shifts as we grow older. Archetypes that provided meaning and energized us during one phase of our life may continue to be important to us throughout the entire course of our lives if the depth and breadth of their expression allows us to keep growing. However, often an archetype will be a ruling influence and impetus for us during a particular phase of life, but when we complete the phase, that archetype may lose its importance and its psychic energy. When that happens, a role that once was alive becomes rote. (Location 303)
The committee metaphor serves as a shorthand. To call a “committee meeting” means going inward and “listening” to the particular archetypes that are active in you. It is a way to make a decision, or find a solution that depends on which archetypes are most important at a given time and resolving inner conflicts and loyalties, before you act. When you pay careful attention and wait for clarity, a choice will emerge that will be right for you. What you do and who you are then coincide. (Location 315)
Entering menopause has some similarities to adolescence and puberty: it’s a time when hormone shifts affect moods, when changes in your body are often accompanied by self-consciousness, when worries about being attractive and concerns about the next stage of life begin to surface. Insomnia and vivid dreams are common. For the first time since adolescence, women tell of having the urge to gaze at the moon and write poetry, and of having the time for it due to the extra hours of wakefulness brought on by insomnia or awakening before dawn. Restlessness, irritability, and hot flashes may also be discomforting symptoms. (Location 327)
Irritability may indicate that you are out of harmony with what you are doing. Or it may be a sign that you cannot keep the lid on what bothers you. Or it may signal an impatience in yourself with yourself. Or it may be that irritability is simply an expression of a wish you yourself are ignoring: namely, the need to spend time alone. (Location 332)
As if sensing these stirrings, men tend to fear menopausal women. They worry that you will make life difficult, be out of control, irrational, or withholding. It’s as if underneath their vague apprehensions, men are afraid that a menopausal woman will turn into a powerful witch or crone goddess. Maybe they are vaguely afraid that it will be a time of retribution. Many women go through menopause smoothly; (Location 337)
In the collective unconscious there are archetypal patterns that exist even when they are not allowed expression. These archetypes can remain dormant during most of a woman’s life and emerge in the third phase. They can also be suppressed for millennia and reemerge when the cultural climate changes. Morphic resonance theory suggests that we may be able to access collective memories of prepatriarchal times when older women had authority, as well as those derived from centuries of the Inquisition, when any woman of crone age was at risk of being denounced, tortured, and burnt at the stake—especially women most like us. History has shaped the attitudes and inhibitions that we hold about ourselves, to learn of this is part of growing beyond them; just as remembering past traumatic events and seeing family patterns begins the process of individual psychological growth. (Location 372)
In the world’s mythologies and in the collective unconscious, which are mirrors of each other, wisdom is feminine. Wisdom is usually an attribute of a goddess who is often not seen or personified, and an attribute of a woman in whom wisdom has become a conscious part of her psyche. (Location 399)
Hecate’s intuitive wisdom is honed by observation and enhanced by psychic awareness. Hestia is a wise presence, the inner serenity that translates into outer harmony. Hestia makes a house a home, creates sanctuaries, and quietly aids in transforming a group of strangers into a community. (Location 412)
In this section, “Her Name is Wisdom,” I focus on four goddesses—Metis, Sophia, Hecate, and (Location 414)
Hestia—as archetypes of wisdom. (Location 415)
These goddesses were once part of myth and religion. They are now latent patterns in the collective unconscious that are waiting to be reimagined and made a conscious part of ourselves. (Location 416)
If you meditate upon a goddess or imagine a dialogue with her, this wise part of yourself becomes more conscious and accessible in ordinary life. What we focus on, we energize. (Location 426)
Goddess of Practical and Intellectual Wisdom Metis in the Belly of Zeus (Location 440)
For a woman in whom the wisewoman is Metis, what she does with her mind or with her mind and her hands engages her soul. She brings the wisdom she has learned from life to her craft. Metis is a personification of applied ways of knowing and doing. It is an expertise that goes beyond technically mastering a skill or a practice. Metis connotes the ability to intellectually grasp the situation and act wisely and skillfully. When a woman’s work and her deeper wisdom come together, then Metis is the archetype of the wisewoman that she exemplifies. (Location 444)
I think of metis in the creative or artistic realm as that quintessential and mysterious divine inspiration that transforms a technically skilled performer into an artist, or the work into art. This is most likely to happen to a craftsperson, artist, actor, or musician who has mastered the medium, the instrument, or craft and draws from an archetypal depth of feeling that touches others. (Location 459)
Metis was the daughter of two Titans: Tethys, the goddess of the moon, and Oceanus, the god whose realm was a vast body of water that encircled the earth. (Location 464)
Women like the goddess Athena, who have an affinity for male mentors in fields where a strategic mind is an advantage, have been the greatest beneficiaries of the women’s movement. (Location 539)
And yet, when the archetype of Athena is the predominant one in a woman, especially a younger one, she is more a father’s daughter than a sister to other women. This stance begins to wear thin as a woman approaches the third stage of her life. If she remembers Metis, she will understand what happened to feminine divinity and to women—and begin to identify herself with them rather than with men. If she acquires Metis, she will be more balanced and whole. (Location 541)
If they are ever to remember Metis, they first will need to develop an affiliation with other women, and lose their identification as their fathers’ daughters and their allegiance to hierarchy. This often comes about only after a major disillusionment with male mentors and colleagues, or with an institution’s principles. The older an Athena woman becomes, the readier she may be for this shift. (Location 549)
When what we have been taught as objective history turns out to be lies and omissions, it is both disillusioning and illuminating. Every woman who has had an academic education has had to develop a linear and logical Athena mind, beginning with the assumption that scholarship is objective. Advanced scholarship brings in an awareness of bias and complexity, but until a feminist consciousness emerges, it is easy to be blind to misogyny and its far-reaching implications. Just as Athena was born out of Zeus’s head, an Athena mind is the offspring of male authority and bias, until she remembers Metis. Patriarchal history and theology omit information about the conquest of the goddess and the destruction of the culture that had thrived before. Just as Metis was swallowed and forgotten, the history of such times had (Location 581)
been buried and covered over, only to emerge in the last half of the twentieth century. (Location 587)
The Great Goddess was a trinity: maiden, mother, and crone. Immortal and eternal, she was each and all aspects of the feminine. She was many and she was One. She was the Great Goddess with a myriad of names. She was worshiped as the feminine life force; all life came from her body and returned to her. She was an embodiment of nature, as the creator, sustainer, and destroyer of life. She was like the moon in her cycles, and like the earth in her seasons. All living things were her children which meant that all life shared something of her divine essence. Women were in the image of the goddess because they, too, brought forth new life from their bodies and could sustain that life with milk from their breasts. The fertile earth and fertility of women were valued. Sexuality was a natural instinct and a pleasure. Society was matrifocal and matrilinear because everyone knew who their mother and siblings were, but not necessarily (and not for sure) the identity of their father. (Location 602)
The fate of feminine wisdom, goddesses, and women under the Greeks and subsequent dominator cultures was to be disempowered and oppressed; which was Metis’s fate. A second fate to befall Metis was to become demonized, a fate which also has been shared, especially by women. Metis has been equated with Medusa, as both were once revered goddesses of wisdom. Medusa was the serpent-goddess of the Libyan Amazons, representing “female wisdom” (Sanskrit medha; Greek metis, Egyptian met or Maat). Medusa was the destroyer aspect of the triple goddess called Neith in Egypt, Ath-enna or Athene in North Africa. The symbols and attributes of the triple goddess were represented by the three faces or phases or cycles of nature and the moon. Besides maiden, mother, crone, or waxing, full, and waning moon, the divine feminine was seen as creator, sustainer, and destroyer. The Great Goddess was a personification of the Earth. She is the creator from which life comes, the sustainer or nurturer of life, and the grave into which all life returns at the end of its season. In classical Greek mythology, Medusa was the third and most famous of the Gorgon sisters, who were the once-beautiful daughters of ancient sea deities. Her two sisters were immortal and ageless. Medusa was the only mortal one. They were originally triple moon goddesses, each representing a phase of the moon. In its third phase, the crescent waning moon “dies” as it disappears into the dark, which may be why Medusa as the third aspect of the moon was the mortal one. Medusa was originally known for her beauty and abundant hair. In mythology, she went from being a goddess to a mortal to a monster with snakes as hair, whose face could turn men to stone. (Location 649)
The power to destroy that is part of the cycle of nature and the third aspect of the goddess was now harnessed and used to turn enemies into stone. Medusa’s power, like Metis’s was appropriated. According to Barbara G. Walker, “A female face surrounded by serpent hair was an ancient, widely recognized symbol of divine female wisdom, and equally of the ‘wise blood’ that supposedly gave women their divine powers. (Location 665)
Women’s creative or work lives characteristically do not follow a linear course, especially if there are children. There are interruptions, moves, periods in which responsibilities for others take precedence over work. (Location 726)
When you cease to look to experts for authority and trust your own expertise, you find your own metis. (Location 738)
Goddess of Mystical and Spiritual Wisdom Sophia Hidden in the Bible (Location 760)
Sophia is the archetype of spiritual wisdom or soul knowledge. Sophia’s wisdom is insightful, it is what we know through gnosis. The Greek word gnosis translates into “knowledge” of a particular kind and source. The Greek language distinguishes between what we can know objectively (logos) from what can only be known subjectively (gnosis). (Location 778)
As the gnostic Christians used the word, gnosis could be translated into “insight,” an intuitive process of knowing onself at the deepest level, which, as they believed or mystically experienced, was to simultaneously know God. (Location 788)
When Sophia dwells in you, you perceive the soul of the matter or soul qualities in others. (Location 804)
The mystic is an aspect of the Sophia archetype that is evoked by numinous experiences. While words are not adequate, those commonly used to describe numinosity are awe, beauty, grace, divinity, ineffability. Numinous experiences are not uncommon—most people may have had them—but a numinous experience is the defining moment for the woman who becomes a mystic. (Location 806)
Sophia defines experiences as having spiritual or philosophical meaning. The archetype not only has an aptitude for mystical events, but seeks to know their meaning. (Location 816)
Contemporary Sophias are often “closet mystics,” who may have changed the course of their lives after a mystical experience or whose daily work is sustained through their access to this inner wisdom, and yet this most important element is hidden. Connection or union with divinity is a private and intimate experience that is easily misunderstood by others, and it is always difficult if not impossible to adequately communicate an ineffable experience. Many women who have attempted to describe their mystical insights and found themselves having to defend or justify them arrive at the conclusion that it is enough to live with this connection, especially when what they do in their lives because of their gnosis is their individuation path. (Location 855)
Sophia’s concern is with spiritual or philosophical or religious meaning, which is a third-phase-of-life task. Soul and spiritual issues come to the forefront if Sophia is an active archetype. Most of us will contemplate our eventual death, not in a morbid way but because it is time to give some thought to this. The third phase is when the subject of death invites us to think about the meaning of life. The death of ailing and aging parents places middle-aged women in the oldest generation, the next to go. You may be caring for a frail and vulnerable mother and see yourself in years hence. Or you may have a life-threatening disease or a scare that makes you think about your own death. Prayer is an almost instinctual act in the midst of a crisis or when death is a possibility, and prayer activates the Sophia archetype. Thoughts turn to death and divinity, or mortality and eternity, or our religious beliefs and personal faith; once Sophia is an active archetype, what we believe in comes up for review. In earlier phases of life, issues of faith are much more concrete and have to do with following or challenging one’s religion; the beliefs of church and temple have a direct bearing on a woman’s sexuality, reproduction and contraceptive choices, marriage, raising children, and divorce. Women, especially in the third phase of life, are usually the most active and devoted parishioners in churches and synagogues. The clergy and theologians may for the most part be male, but it’s women who have filled the pews and kept the community going through their attendance and volunteer work. In their crone years, women may yearn for a spiritual community or find themselves attending services. (Location 896)
When Sophia is active as an archetype of wisdom, there is a pressing need to find meaning and reconcile one’s beliefs through gnosis. (Location 925)
But curiously, even if there is no word for goddess and monotheism denies the possibility, there appears to be a goddess in the Old Testament’s Book of Proverbs. She was Chokmah in Hebrew, became Sophia in Greek, and then the abstract and neuter word “wisdom” in English. Sophia as “wisdom” in the Revised Standard Version of the Bible speaks in the first person. Her description of herself and manner of speaking are that of a divine feminine being. Her attributes are those of a goddess of wisdom. She says: “I have counsel and sound wisdom, I have insight, I have strength, (Location 976)
Pagels noted that the gnostics tended to regard all doctrines, speculations, and myths—their own as well as others’—only as approaches to truth. Their ways of perceiving and understanding was in marked contrast to the authoritarian style of the bishops, for whom there was only one truth, one church, one system of organization, and, therefore, only one legitimate Christianity. The gnostic Christians were egalitarian, which especially rankled the church fathers. Tertullian charged them with lacking distinctions: “They all have access equally, they listen equally, they pray (Location 1086)
equally—even pagans, if any happen to come.” He found it offensive that “they share the kiss of peace with all who come,” and considered them all arrogant, because “all offer you gnosis.” The place of women in gnostic congregations was especially offensive. They had authority. He charged, “These heretical women—how audacious they are! They have no modesty; they are bold enough to teach, to engage in argument, to enact exorcisms, to undertake cures, and, it may be, even to baptize! (Location 1090)
The fear of ridicule, of appearing superstitious, or being irritational inhibits us from sharing the mystical gnosis that may have been or still could be a turning point or a defining event once it is acknowledged by us and supported by others. When you were younger, anything mystical may have been labeled “foolishness” by pragmatic parents, or even “of the devil” by fundamental clergy or families. Friends of your youth may have reacted similarly, or listened and left you feeling that they were just humoring you. (Location 1113)
And, while most subjects can be discussed with a therapist, I think it reasonable to be concerned that bringing up mystical experiences risks having them labeled as magical thinking or delusions. Obviously, insights gained from gnosis are rarely welcomed as topics of conversation at social gatherings. To break the silence and speak about what you know to be your spiritual reality, or tell another about a numinous experience or your philosophical insights or take up a religious vocation becomes possible for many women only when they are over fifty and have found friends with spiritual depth. While some women have been in touch with Sophia’s wisdom as children and remained so all their lives, the Sophia aspect of most may remain dormant or neglected until they are over fifty because the second phase of most women’s lives is characterized by a shortage of time, with everyday life requiring a deft juggling of roles and tasks. There often is no time to cultivate Sophia until you are a crone. If you have a circle of women with whom you can share your spiritual journey, the circle can become a vessel for Sophia to develop in each woman. The receptivity to spirit, the ability to listen and value mystical experience, learning that gnosis was behind major life choices that others have made creates a safe space for Sophia’s wisdom. (Location 1117)
Goddess of Intuitive and Psychic Wisdom Hecate at the… (Location 1128)
Hecate was the goddess of the crossroads who could see… (Location 1131)
When you arrive at a fork in the road, she is there. She can see where you are coming from, and where each of the two paths at the crossroad might take you. If you are someone who pays attention to dreams and synchronicities, draws upon a store of past experiences and uses… (Location 1131)
Hecate is a goddess of intuition. Her three-way perspective allows her to see the connection between past, present, and future. This ability to see patterns… (Location 1134)
and present circumstances is an intuitive way of perception. Seeing how a situation evolved—or where someone is coming from—is not uncanny or mysterious to an intuitive person. At significant junctures, Hecate is silently present as an inner witness. Hers is wisdom learned from experience; she is what makes us grow wiser as we grow older. At significant forks in the road, she recalls the shape of the past, honestly sees the present, and has a sense of what lies ahead at a soul level. She does not make your choices, nor judge you. To know her wisdom, you must come to a stop and consult her. You must listen to what she says in the voice of your own intuition. Sometimes in life something happens and you know that nothing in your life will be the same again. You know it is no longer an option to go on as before, but you are not sure what to do. A younger you might have responded impulsively by letting your emotions carry you away without much thought or consideration. Those same emotions may arise, but a maturity (often having to do with being responsible for others) stops you from acting on them. You know that whatever you decide to do here matters. It is time to call on Hecate to help you see the larger picture, to stay at the crossroad until it is clear to you which path to take. You may find yourself at a significant fork in the road not… (Location 1135)
at a crossroad with Hecate. Hecate is the goddess at the threshold of major transitions. She is embodied by the midwife who assists at births, and by women who help ease the passage of the soul as it leaves the body at death. Metaphorically, Hecate is an inner midwife, whose perspective aids us when we birth new aspects of ourselves. She helps us let go of what is ready to die:… (Location 1147)
Hecate can be found at the threshold between old and new millennia. We anticipate the possibility of a new age for humanity, but until we arrive there, we are betwixt and between—in a liminal time (from the Latin word for “threshold”) where a shimmering potential has not yet become solid. At the beginning of the twenty-first century, humanity is at a critical juncture where change is needed to avert turning where we live—from neighborhoods to the planet—into a wasteland. Many women enter the crone phase with some sense of wanting to make a difference, or have an urge… (Location 1151)
Hecate is at the crux of the situation when a woman enters the third phase of her life and heeds a pull inward. She appears indecisive or as if her energy is lying fallow, when she is in this liminal phase. If she stays at the crossroad until she… (Location 1157)
Even if you took a course in Greek mythology or have a current interest in the gods and goddesses as archetypes, at best Hecate is a vague figure. She is mentioned as accompanying Demeter in the story of the abduction of Persephone, depicted as the third and least important goddess. Hecate is invariably the crone goddess when classical mythology describes goddesses in threesomes; a pattern derived from the unacknowledged triple goddess of pre-Olympian times. Besides Persephone the maiden, Demeter the mother, and Hecate the crone, there were three goddesses who personified the phases of the moon: Artemis, goddess of the waxing moon; Selene, goddess of the full moon; and Hecate, goddess of the waning and dark moon. A third triad was Hebe the maiden, a cupbearer of the gods; Hera, the goddess of marriage; and Hecate, the goddess of the crossroads.… (Location 1161)
Metaphorically and mythologically, she is dimly seen. She is associated with the underworld but did not reside there. Her time was twilight. Offerings—“Hecate suppers”—were left for her at crossroads, usually when the moon was dark,… (Location 1168)
witches, Hecate was called a queen of the witches or queen of the ghostworld, and seen as a diabolical figure. The poet… (Location 1170)
clairvoyance. It also may have acknowledged another once valued aspect attributed to her, that of goddess of magic and divination. Hecate is described as a moon goddess who wears a gleaming headdress or a headband of stars, and holds flaming torches in each hand. She was thought to walk the roads of ancient Greece accompanied by her black hounds. She was an invisible presence at the three-way crossroad, or materialized in the form of a pillar or Hecterion, a statue with three faces that looked in the three directions. Over time, as she was denigrated, Hecate became transformed into the goddess of trivia (from the Latin word trivia—three ways—which meant “crossroads”). (Location 1177)
The dog was Hecate’s primary symbolic animal. She was sometimes addressed as a black bitch. When people saw black dogs howling at night, she was thought to be invisibly present. Instead of having three faces or three heads, statues representing Hecate sometimes were composites of three animals: the dog, the snake, and the lion; or the dog, the horse, and the bear. Besides the dog, the other animal strongly associated with Hecate was the frog, a symbol of the fetus and of gestation, a totem image of the midwife. The yew, alder, and poplar were funeral trees associated with Hecate as the goddess of the gateway between the upperworld of the living and the underworld of the shades. The yew has an association with immortality, which sees death as merely a transition. (Location 1186)
Hecate consoled Demeter in her grief and loss but she was more than a comforter and a witness. She suggested that they seek information from the god of the sun who saw what happened to Persephone. Hecate’s counsel was to seek the truth. She accompanied Demeter and was with her when Demeter learned that Persephone was abducted by Hades. The god of the sun urged her to accommodate and accept Hades as, after all, he was an Olympian like herself, and thus would not make a bad son-in-law. When Demeter heard this, and that it was done with Zeus’s permission, her grief turned to anger. She decided to leave Olympus and, in disguise, wander among people, and her determination eventually led to Persephone’s return. People may think that they cannot face what is true, and so they adapt, often by keeping the truth at a distance through rationalization, denial, or addictions that serve to numb us to the truth. Only when a (Location 1213)
woman has learned from experience that reality can be faced, is she a wisewoman like Hecate. (Location 1219)
A Hecate Meditation/Active Imagination Ask yourself: “What have I learned about life from my own experience?” and “What truth do I need to face?” Answers are likely to come when you really want to know and are receptive. They may come into your mind if you are quiet and wait. Or you might visualize Hecate and ask her these questions. (Location 1220)
Psychotherapists come to depend upon Hecate, and to some extent (Location 1230)
serve as embodiments of Hecate for their clients. People are at a crossroad when they seek psychotherapy. A therapist observes, hears, and bears witness to what is revealed. Like Hecate was for Demeter, the therapist encourages the client to seek the truth of the situation, which includes her genuine feelings and perceptions that denial covers. Hecate the witness is there when you pay attention to your dreams, heed your intuitive perceptions, or listen to an inner voice. It’s as if she accompanies us, holding up her torches so we can see in the dark. People with multiple personalities reach Hecate’s juncture each time a new personality emerges. (Location 1230)
In the absence of a consistent “I” there is a hidden observer who functions like Hecate and bears witness to the “birth” of each personality. (Location 1237)
The inner self-helper is another name for Hecate. (Location 1242)
Observing this in others is easy and begins in childhood, when we see how adults put on a “different face.” Seeing the “multiples” in ourselves is harder. The compassionate gaze of Hecate the witness does not blame or shame anyone, and so does not foster defensiveness or denial. Instead, she enables us to see ourselves, especially those parts that might otherwise be kept hidden. While Hecate may develop early in a person’s life or come into the foreground of the psyche when traumatic circumstances call her forth, Hecate usually grows in significance as we grow older and can see patterns and reflect upon events that have taken us unaware into dark places of depression, jealousy, vengefulness, or hopelessness. The older we become, the more likely it is for us to know Hecate as a wise counselor who reminds us of lessons learned from experience. In these ways, Hecate facilitates the integration of our multiple selves into becoming a consistent and authentic person. (Location 1244)
For the soul to leave the body, there is sometimes a period of labor—when the groans of a dying person (who may be in a coma) even sound similar to those made by a woman in labor, particularly in the transition phase immediately before the delivery. This is when the mother often must gather up whatever energy she still has for one last intense push, before the baby will leave her body, and it will be over. Sometimes labor is easy and the delivery is also, just as dying can follow a quiet and peaceful last soft breath. In either case, it helps to have Hecate there, in the comforting presence of an experienced, wise woman. (Location 1273)
Hecate the psychic is at home in the “twilight zone” of the medium, who mediates between the visible and the spirit worlds. She may be a clairvoyant who sees with the third eye, or the mind’s eye, or through visions. She may have intuitive or extrasensory ways of gathering information. She may understand the precognitive meaning of dreams. Hecate’s time was twilight, that threshold zone through which we pass from day to night. She was in her cave when Persephone was abducted; in myths, caves are the entrances to the underworld, a passageway between the world of the living and the “shades of the dead.” In Greek mythology, afterlife existed in the underworld, where the shades of the dead were transparent and recognizable figures; metaphorically, the underworld is the personal and collective unconscious. (Location 1283)
Reading omens, using oracular means of knowing such as the Tarot, or the I Ching, Medicine Cards, or Runes, interpreting dreams, or going on soul retrieval journeys are all nonrational ways of perceiving, (Location 1291)
knowing, or healing that are in Hecate’s realm. Since psychic abilities are discounted, ridiculed, or feared, people with Hecate’s mediumistic gifts usually don’t develop them when they are young. As women grow older, they have had opportunities to learn from experience to pay attention to psychic or intuitive perceptions. (Location 1293)
The women who were most feared or respected became the most persecuted. (Location 1323)
Any woman of crone age was at risk for having supernatural powers including poor, outcast, powerless, demented old women, who were routinely persecuted as witches. It was, in fact, heretical to say that such old women were harmless. Any woman of crone age was at risk. To survive, an older woman needed to be unnoticed and undistinguished; only “invisible” older women stayed alive. (Location 1326)
appalling litany of pathological fear and persecution of women, especially crones. Witches had descriptive titles such as “one who gathers herbs,” “one with the evil eye,” “screech owl,” “keeper of an ointment box,” “wisewoman,” “worker of charms,” “poisoner,” “seeress,” or “evil doer.” In Italy a witch was a strega or Janara, an old title of a priestess of Jana (Juno). In England a witch was called a hag or a fairy. One epithet for a witch was “stick rider.” Broomsticks were associated with witches because of their use in pagan rituals of marriage and birth. In Rome, the broomstick was a symbol of Hecate’s priestess-midwife, who swept the threshold of a house after each birth to clean it of evil spirits that might harm the child. Old wedding customs (Location 1330)
It was decidedly dangerous to be noticed, envied, or feared. Any unusual ability in a woman instantly raised a charge of witchcraft. “The so-called Witch of Newbury” was murdered by a group of soldiers because she knew how to go “surfing” on the river. Country women burned as witches were nominally Christian, but if they observed the summer and winter solstices, spring and fall equinoxes, planted according to the phases of the moon, could predict from animal behavior how cold a winter could be expected, and had knowledge beyond the learned churchmen, they became personifications of evil. All of this because their herbal remedies worked like magic for some people and their knowledge of the cycles of the seasons, which came from the old religion of the goddess. (Location 1347)
While being called a witch no longer leads to the torturer and then to the stake, it still feels dangerous. (Location 1356)
“Let us go to the god of the sun, who was overhead. He saw what happened to Persephone and can tell us,” were Hecate’s words to Demeter. To seek the truth rather than stay in ignorance or denial, or speak the truth rather than remain silent are critical, at-the-crossroad decisions. Whenever you tell the truth to someone else, especially if that truth shakes a premise, this moment becomes a fork in the road. Likewise, whenever you ask for the truth, Hecate is the inner wisdom that prepares you to hear it. Sometimes, you may unexpectedly find yourself at Hecate’s junction when something is being done or said that puts you on the spot. It may be a public moment that will put you on record. Or, knowing that “silence is consent,” you alone may realize that this is a moment of truth that calls on you to do what you know will be hard but true to yourself. Apart from the effect that you may or may not have on the situation itself, such moments of truth decisions are soul-shaping. (Location 1370)
Goddess of Meditative Wisdom Hestia as the Fire at the Center of the Hearth (Location 1384)
It is Hestia you wish to be with when you yearn for time alone, when solitude is a sanctuary, and your soul is at the center of your being. If you know Hestia’s symbolic fire as a spiritual center or inner presence that warms and illuminates your psyche and your body, you will have a feeling of being at home in yourself and in a universe that is both ordinary and sacred. (Location 1392)
When Hestia is the predominant archetype throughout a woman’s life, she may feel out of step and inadequate, unless she develops other aspects of herself as well, or until she sees and honors who she inwardly truly is and finds a place where she can be herself in the world, or (Location 1402)
finally comes into her own in her older years. (Location 1404)
During these times I’ve realized how much of a difference a fire makes, and am reminded how Hestia’s sacred fire transformed a house into a home, and a building into a temple. (Location 1407)
In classical Greece, Hestia was a presence in all the marble temples to the gods and goddesses. The fire burning on the temple’s round hearth invited the divinity, whose temple is was, to be present. Similarly, for the body to be a temple, there must be a source of warmth and illumination within. (Location 1416)
A Hestia Visualization Imagine that your body is a temple. The center of the temple is inside your chest, and in the center of this space, there is a glowing fire upon a round hearth. Sense the light and warmth that emanates from this glow, radiating out to fill your whole body with warm inner light. Place your hands over this place. Then, with each intake of breath, breathe in peace. Hold your breath for a moment and be still. And then slowly exhale. Breathe in peace, and hold, breathe out peace. And in the Stillness, Hestia is present. (Location 1418)
honored in rituals, in which she was the sacred fire. (Location 1437)
Just as in the formation of a new household, whenever people set out from the home city to establish a new colony, they took the sacred fire from the common hearth to their new community; from the mother fire to the daughter fires throughout the settled world. Hestia linked the old home with the new, the capital city with all of its colonies. In Rome, Hestia would become worshiped as the goddess Vesta. Vesta’s sacred fire united all the citizens of Rome into one family. (Location 1444)
As a virgin goddess archetype, Hestia is “one-in-herself,” meaning that she did not need anyone else to be complete, not a spouse, not a child, not a lover. The virgin goddess archetype, as described by Esther Harding in Women’s Mysteries, is motivated by a need to follow her own inner values rather than a need to please, be liked, or gain approval. When a woman is one-in-herself, she does what has meaning for herself, and is not deterred by what other people think. This usually becomes easier to do the older one becomes. Sometimes, Hestia comes into the psyche only after loss and grief lead a woman to discover the richness of an inner spiritual life or the sweetness of peace and quiet. (Location 1452)
The Latin word for “hearth” is focus, and this inward focus comes to many people only through a commitment to meditation. Her meditation is a focus on being in the moment, of emptying the mind and stilling the emotions. Persona and ego, comparisons, criticisms, the gamut of thoughts having to do with past and future, the attachments we have to seeing ourselves or others in certain ways that lead nowhere, all drop away when we still the mind. Meditation as a practice to achieve this works for many. However, to women in whom the archetype of Hestia is present, the state of mind that others achieve in meditation comes naturally. Tending to household details is a centering activity, a means through which a woman puts her house and herself in order. As a “hearthkeeper,” she finds inner harmony through outer order. With Hestia, there is no rush, no eye on the clock, nor an internal critic. What she does pleases her and absorbs her in the same way that concentrating on the breath absorbs a meditator. As she sorts and folds laundry, irons or cleans up clutter, picks and arranges flowers, prepares dinner, or puts her closet in order, she is totally in the present moment. During this time, a thought or feeling may surface in her mind, and be seen with some clarity and detachment. Hestia provides us with access to meditative wisdom, perceptions that come to us when we are in harmony with the Self. In religious communities, work, service, and ritual come together as one cleans the sanctuary or prepares a table or an altar. Wherever and however a woman brings order, beauty, and harmony to an (Location 1459)
environment, she is creating a sacred place. There is something nurturing about doing this sort of work and in entering a space that has been cared for in this way. From the time of prehistoric cave dwellers, the fire at the center of a hearth not only provided light and warmth, but a sense of family. The fire was where meals were cooked, and around it meals were eaten. Hospitality meant sharing… (Location 1471)
As an archetype, Hestia represents an invisible feminine presence or energy that permeates a situation, a place, or a psyche, and transforms it into a sacred space. Hestia’s hearth fire has to do with soul and home, with being rather than doing. Her wisdom is the wisdom of being centered, with an emotional warmth that is generous and not possessive. She is the… (Location 1476)
Without doing anything or saying anything directly to bring about a shift in the relationship or a situation, a woman who is embodying this archetype has a subtle, transformative influence on others in her environment. She does not polarize anyone because she is at home in the quiet in herself. In her presence and her invariably serene environment, other people also can just… (Location 1479)
There is a similarity between Hestia as goddess of the hearth and the Shekinah, the feminine aspect of divinity in Judaism, who is also unseen and unpersonified. The Hebrew word “Sh’kina” meant “dwelling place,” perhaps meaning “where God lives.” The Shekinah comes into a Jewish home on Friday, when women light the candles for the Sabbath meal, and the Sabbath begins. She is in the household while the Sabbath is observed, a time when work comes to a standstill, and the house can be considered a temple. The Japanese tea ceremony is another Hestian sanctuary. While the task is merely… (Location 1484)
When being needed, or being productive, or being attractive, and staying so are a woman’s major concerns, there is no place for Hestia in her psyche. Even when these are not compelling, juggling work and relationships, and taking care of responsibilities require more hours than we often seem to have. It is no wonder then that a woman may not find much time to have an inner life, much less periods of solitude, until she is in the third phase of her life. But… (Location 1491)
I think of Hestia as a yearning for a place of one’s own and the time to be there. A Hestia space, real or imagined, is not disturbed by anyone else’s presence, emotions, or belongings. It is a place to return to and find as we left it. As our need for solitude makes itself known,… (Location 1498)
I think of a wisewoman-crone as a woman who has experienced a shift in her inner world. The Self, rather than the ego, has become the center of her personality. (Location 1526)
Instead of a committee meeting with the ego as the chair, a circle meets around the hearth with Hestia’s fire at the center. (Location 1527)
With inner consensus, there is an integrity to what you do and how you live: outer actions become a manifestation of the inner person. An inner-directed person, I might add, can be very active and effective in the world. This is something that sometimes takes becoming a crone to learn. As Gloria Steinem said about herself: (Location 1529)
Who would have imagined that I, once among the most externalized of people, would now think of meditation as a tool of revolution (without self-authority, how can we keep standing up to external authority)? or consider inner space more important to explore than outer space? or dismay even some feminists by saying that power is also internal? (Location 1532)
You are on a country road or a path. You are approaching a place where three roads meet. Where the one you are on comes to a fork in the road. There are two paths to choose from. Which direction will you take? Hecate is here. You may see her or sense her presence. Hear or feel what she has to say. She is a wisewoman who knows you very well. She is the deep intuitive wisdom you can draw from if you are receptive. Ask the right questions and wait for her answers to come. What is this intersection? What are your choices? Where does each path lead? (Location 1544)
I’ve grouped them by their traits into three categories: the goddesses of transformative wrath, the goddesses of mirth and bawdy humor, and the goddesses of compassion. When you can tap into the energies of all three, and also have wisdom, you are an internally free woman and a juicy crone. (Location 1587)
Outrage is good healthy anger that finally is directed at changing an unacceptable situation. The depression and anxiety that women suffer from in the first and second phases of their lives are usually the result of feeling angry and powerless, afraid to express it because of the consequences, either real or imagined, and bottling it up so well that it is no longer recognizable as anger. (Location 1596)
The wisdom of Hecate and Metis restrains impulsive action and holds rage in check. The ability to stay centered, found in Hestia, and the spiritual meaning from Sophia contribute to restraint until a woman can act effectively rather than be taken over by the fury of this archetype, which needed to come into her consciousness, before transformation is possible. Women who reach the point of enough is enough and have wisdom, compassion, and humor, are formidable forces for change. (Location 1615)
When our bodies change and become inelegant, humor brings together an earthy spontaneity and reality. When troubles happen, gallows humor can help. There is a wisdom to black or rueful humor; it connects and comforts, heals the isolation of suffering alone. In an instant, a bleak mood is transformed by laughter. A belly laugh is radically authentic and is most often heard among women outside the earshot or judgment of men. (Location 1622)
The goddesses of mirth have an earthy perspective that is a commentary on reality; a wise humor that is not mean or demeaning to others. Humor without wisdom and compassion is often sadistic and (Location 1625)
cruel, a means of feeling superior at someone else’s expense. The intellectual and verbal talent that gives rise to a rapier wit in the company of equals is also not the same as mirth. (Location 1626)
Women who can embody Uzume or Baubo are women who accept their own bodies growing older and can laugh with each other about the changes. It’s necessary to be beyond the need to perform or look good for others even to laugh freely, which is also why these are crone goddesses. Ladies are supposed to cross their legs and not laugh uproariously, after all. (Location 1628)
When we were younger women, most of us judged others and ourselves harsher than we do as crones. We may have felt entitled, or had expectations of people derived only from surface appearance, and needed lessons in reality and humility to know better. Kindness and generosity are childhood qualities that often go underground in the first and second phases of women’s lives. We may have been warned against being gullible or had our generosity abused. Or a cynical adult may have made us feel foolish when we were motivated by kindness. The deluge of requests for donations from charities may have had a deadening effect on our compassion as well. Maybe we adopted the prevalent patriarchal attitude of contempt for weakness. (Location 1633)
A wisewoman-crone has the wisdom to hold within herself “opposing” qualities. She is able to be outraged and compassionate, fierce and tender, spiritual and bawdy; she can love solitude and be an activist in the world. She can be one-in-herself and be deeply committed to another person. She is unique and authentic because she has many facets and an integrity that holds them together. She works at integrating the diversity within her, which is why she is a whole person but not a perfect or “finished” woman. The crone phase is a time of self-knowledge, when shifts occur in outer and inner life and you may find new archetypes as sources of change and vitality. It is a time that does call for reflection and contemplation of your life so far and the “work in process” that you are. The goddesses in part 2 may have unfamiliar names, and yet they may already be an active part of you. If so, you’ll recognize them and come to know this part of yourself better. It may be of even more value, and definitely something to think (Location 1642)
about—if you find that one of them is “missing.” If Sekhmet, or Uzume, or Kuan Yin were a conscious part of your psyche, how would your life have been different? If you find them now, how will your life be different? (Location 1650)
Goddesses of Transformative Wrath: Her Name Is Outrage Sekhmet, the Ancient Egyptian Lionheaded Goddess Kali-Ma, Hindu Destroyer Goddess (Location 1653)
The goddesses of transformative wrath are markedly different from the goddesses of wisdom that we met in the preceding chapters. They come to the fore when it is time to take action to change an unacceptable situation, when enough is enough. These are goddesses who were called forth when male gods or men were not able to defeat evil and only a powerful goddess was equal to the task. (Location 1656)
Rage without wisdom feeds on itself and makes a woman fear she is going crazy or out of control, and some do. (Location 1667)

This too shall pass

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03.10.21

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archetypes, goddess, jean shinoda bolen