This Be The Verse ~ PHILIP LARKIN
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.
Childhood, which is brought up so prominently for examination in the consulting room, is a narrative related to objects, relations and events of the past. It is the narrative that crystallizes in the looking glass of retrospection. In the same mirror of our psyche, this narrative of childhood will reflect back upon us, painting the colors of our present experiences and sense of identity.
the cycle of life ~ ch. 1 ~ erel shalit
If the sensitive little child was never allowed to fly with its own creative spirit, if its wings were repeatedly cut off by “should, ought, and have to,” then it has no faith in itself. Its feelings, intuitions, imaginings count for nothing. Poetry, music, dance–all the creative outpourings of soul reaching for spirit–have been relegated to some kind of fluffy fun and fantasy world. In the so-called real world, creative fire is not to be tolerated unless, of course, it leads to financial success and climbing the social ladder.izes in the looking glass of retrospection. In the same mirror of our psyche, this narrative of childhood will reflect back upon us, painting the colors of our present experiences and sense of identity.
leaving my father’s house ~ marion woodman
“Children treated in sixteen sessions of group therapy for emotional and behavioral difficulties demonstrated, through a posttreatment analysis of critical incidents, that the most important therapeutic factor was “relationship-climate.” Feeling safe, accepted, and that they belonged ranked higher for the children than learning and problem-solving factors, suggesting that an important developmental need was met in the group4. Self-disclosure emerged only after that sense of belonging was secure. (145).”
IRVIN D. YALOM, GROUP PSYCHOTHERAPY
But I had to recognize and accept that my soul is a child and that my God in my soul is a child.
Carl Jung, The Red Book
“It is this correspondence between child and soul that seems to account for the fact that, in dreams, the child can be said to symbolize the soul or to represent a symbolic carrier of that spiritual substance we refer to as the soul.”
Donald Kalsched, Trauma and the Soul (p. 58)
Indeed, we have to survive our appetites by making people cooperate with our wanting. We pressurize the world to be there for our benefit. And yet we quickly notice as children – it is, perhaps, the first thing we do notice – that our needs, like our wishes, are always potentially unmet.
ADAM PHILLIPS, MISSING OUT